Thank you Hollie! I couldn't be more grateful for another opportunity at authenticity and vulnerability.
Your question:
"Could I be so bold as to ask how/why your realizations came from some years ago? Did you find a path or philosophy or something else that helped direct your new path? If this is too personal, no need to answer."
I appreciate your boldness, so here goes.
There is a paradox for me that, quite frankly, I'm not sure I understand. That is, I know my memory is failing and remembering specific events and their details is almost impossible. But what I am acutely aware of are the feelings and emotions connected with the most powerful and moving events of my life. They never leave me. This was bothersome for many years and more than likely the cause of some of the trauma and subsequent masks I wore to cover them. I didn't know how to deal with my thoughts or emotions.
When I joined the Mankind Project and began my own personal work in 2014, I viewed the power and resonance of the internal work that I and other men were doing and the lights began to come on.
The connection between the cumulative affect of that work, the support system, and my internal desire to live a meaningful life began producing fruit.
I have always wanted to be a good man, (whatever that looks like) but felt I didn't possess the tools to achieve that. I was in the middle of the end of my second marriage when I connected with MKP. I have been connected to the project (MKP) for almost 8 years now, and in that time the synchronistic events have accelerated. When I connected with Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, the acceleration continued, as it does today.
Bottom line is I'm slowly settling the conflict within myself and my path. (Wasn't sure what I wanted, how to get there of even if I could get there) and decided that I was now well enough to express all the emotions connected with my life story both internally and externally in appropriate ways.
Gratitude, joy, and foregiveness are overcoming the sadness, guilt, and shame that still crop up energetically. The former, along with a deep sense of finally being loved by the universe and blessed with the increasing ability to love myself and others is healing me.
The paths/pholosphies used primarily were deep commitments to the following:
1) Ho'oponopono
2) Deep internal work with other men using the values of accountability, authenticity, compassion, generosity, integrity, leadership, Multi-cultural Awareness, Respect, Gratitude, and Vulnerability
3) Facing my fears
4) Lifelong Learning - recognizing I can always learn and with practice become proficient enough to meed my needs and often the needs of others.
5) The hardest learn and most difficult to practice is that I'm good enough just the way I am. Acceptance of all the that the universe created and offers through me all that I need.
6) The notion that when I leave this planet I will have given more than I took. (still working on that one)
I could not be more grateful for this opportunity to share this with you. My 91 year old mentor (of 10 years) has convinced me that I can live the life I want if I can live in this moment without regret and continue to acknowledge I am one aspect of something greater!
Bless you and thank you!
Bruce
PS
I was ordained as a Priest in the Order of Melchizedek in October of 2010 and at the moment Rev. Dan Chesboro blew into my crown chakra I began to change. Just sayin!
