I used to laugh when as a child my grandmother would tell me, “the older you get the faster time goes.” I can hear in my head right now my exasperated response; “Oh Mom Mom!”
How quickly 50 plus years go by! Then later on in my life, I heard a speaker coin the phrase “One Eternal Now” and I thought wow, another representation of time, a different perspective. How will I use that? What is the influence on my perception of time and how it applies to me in navigating this life I live?
I always believed I had all the time in the world to achieve or accomplish those things to which I wanted my name attached. I am by no means an old man or a pessimist, (although I will admit to a doubt or two here and there in my lifetime) and yet I am coming to understand the gravity of the reality that one day this physical body must expire.
Where is this train of thought leading? What station am I destined to arrive at and what is the meaning of life? Hell if I know! I am coming to a different perspective that seems to be lighting up my life and that is this: No one really knows for sure when their ticket gets punched. Both of my grandmothers lived into their 90’s and I have already outlived my father and mother in terms of years lived.
What I feel is important isn’t a race against time, like my time is running out and I better get a move on it if I’m going to find something I enjoy doing. I have come to the conclusion that each day is my last day here. Not in terms of death, but in terms of never getting these moments back. Once spent, they’re gone like a spent bullet fired from a gun or an unsavory word once it passes my lips.
You might think this is depressing, but lo and behold, I am lifted because I now realize time has nothing to do with achievement. My achievement isn’t about what I accomplish but how I enjoy the process of living each moment, it’s about how my energy moves through this plane and not what I take away but what I leave behind.
And you know what? I have been like Hansel and Gretel, leaving energetic crumbs all along my path so I could find my way home. Perhaps the emotional crumbs will also help others along the way as well. Not to find their way back to my home, but to act as a means of leading them to a fork in their own road that will afford them an opportunity to choose how they return to their sanctuary.
I am learning that time isn’t even involved in living. For me, its purpose is to mark the nows of my growth. Where am I now? What time is it? Maybe better said, what season is it? Where am I now on this journey of a million moments?
You know, I like it here and now yet, I know my now will move somewhere else later on and I am ok with that!
So what do you do when you realize there is no more time? My answer? Look around, be surprised, and enjoy the ride!
May peace, joy and love always be within